I want to tell you what happens when you actually try to get help in Austria. Not the version on their websites. Not the version in the brochures. What actually happens when you pick up the phone, write the emails, show up to the offices, and explain your situation to one organization after another.
Nothing. That's what happens. Nothing.
The cycle
I contacted ZARA, the anti-racism organization. I sent them everything. The documented pattern of discrimination across eleven years. Employment, disability assessment, residency, all of it. Their response:
ZARA: "We are unfortunately not responsible for your case." They referred me to Gleichbehandlungsanwaltschaft and Behindertenanwaltschaft.
Sorry, not us. Try somewhere else.
I contacted BIZEPS, the disability rights center. They're supposed to be the organization for self-determined living for people with disabilities. I sent them the evidence, the contradiction between the disability assessment and the care allowance decision. Their response:
BIZEPS: "Unfortunately we must inform you that we cannot support you in this matter." They recommended a lawyer. They couldn't recommend one.
Sorry, can't help. Get a lawyer. No, we don't know one.
I contacted MA 17, the City of Vienna's Department of Integration and Diversity. I explained everything. And here's the part that really gets me. They wrote back and said this:
MA 17: "We agree with you: there are gaps in the system. Different agencies evaluate the same documents differently. People with complex needs get pushed back and forth without holistic support." And then: "But we cannot provide individual case support."
Read that again. They agree. They see the problem. They described exactly what's happening to me. And then they said it's not their job to do anything about it.
Their solution: try MEN center, try BBRZ, try migrant.at. More referrals. More "go somewhere else."
I contacted the Caritas social services. Their response:
Caritas/FSW: "You are not our target group." They wished me all the best. Twice.
Not our target group. Good luck. Try somewhere else.
Even when you pay, no one helps
After every free office sent me somewhere else, one last option remained. A specialized organization that says it handles cases like mine. Verein ChronischKrank Österreich. But nothing there is free. To get support, you have to become a member. Around 90 euros a year. For the application itself, you pay another 50. A total of 140 euros for someone with no income, no job, no residency security. I paid because there was no other door left.
They got the full file. Every document. All three previous rejections. The hospital reports from the clinic where I've been in treatment for ten years: the one that states, in writing, that all treatment options have been exhausted. The assessments. The findings. After they had seen all of it, they gave me their prognosis: “Next time you'll get 50%.” That wasn't a vague comment. That was the specialist organization's professional assessment after full review of the file.
I submitted the application. I paid the 50 euros. I waited.
The result was the fourth rejection. The reason: nothing new had come up in my case.
Nothing new. As if a renewed application is supposed to contain a fresh illness. As if the chronic part of being chronically ill is something we are supposed to forget.
And then, the loop closes. The Behindertenanwaltschaft itself wrote back. The state ombudsperson's office. Their suggestion for where I should turn? Exactly the organization that had already failed. The state refers you to the private body, which refers you back to the state.
The free help says: “Not our case.”
The paid help says: “We can do this.”
The state ombudsperson says: “Go to the paid help.”
The outcome is always the same.
The pattern
Every single one of them did the same thing. They read my message. Some of them acknowledged that what I'm describing is real. And then they told me to go somewhere else. And the somewhere else told me to go somewhere else. And that somewhere else told me to go back to the first one.
I've been in this cycle for years. Not weeks. Years. Every time I find a new organization, a new department, a new office, the answer is the same. Sorry. Not us. Try somewhere else. We wish you all the best.
All the best. That's what they say when they're done with you. We wish you all the best. As if wishing does anything. As if "all the best" pays for a lawyer. As if "all the best" fixes the contradiction in my disability assessment. As if "all the best" gets me a job or residency or a single person who will actually look at my case and say: yes, this is wrong, and I will help.
What I'm left with
I have contacted every organization I could find. Anti-discrimination offices. Disability rights organizations. City departments. Social services. Media. Advocacy groups.
Every door is closed. Not because I didn't knock. I knocked on all of them. They opened, looked at me, said sorry, and closed again.
I know what people would say. Keep trying. Don't give up. There must be someone. I've been hearing that for eleven years. I've been trying for eleven years. At some point "keep trying" stops being advice and starts being cruelty. Because you're telling someone to keep walking into walls while pretending the walls aren't there.
The walls are there. I've hit every single one. And I'm still here. Not because the system works. Because I haven't stopped yet.
What am I supposed to do? Do I need to be completely gone before someone understands that I need support? Is that the threshold? Because it feels like nothing short of that would make anyone act.
But I'm running out of doors to knock on.